Strong adventurers attract strong women

Remember how Minion Shantotto has been causing trouble everywhere?

Words spread and soon Mag and me were known as the strong adventurers that defeat any troublesome enemies.

And with this, the ladies came…

They were totally into us and started flirting out of nowhere – even with me! O.O;

They told me to close my eyes for a special kind of pleasure….

And then, I felt like suffocating as a big ball of fur was pressed into my face!

What the hell? @.@;; Well, it felt realy fluffy and all but…

As reward for enjoying the fluffy face carressing, I received a really manly helm.

Yeah. We look like a manly street gang…

You wonder where those golems come from? Well, during a fight, we fought some giant golems and as we subdued them, they asked us to show mercy while offering us their youngest ones.

Why would we reject this act of kindness?

Unfortunately, the pretty ladies and their manager had to leave.

I felt sad. THey had come and gone like a whirlwind and somehow I liked the degree of admiration they had towards me…

Walking a few steps in disappointment, I looked up and doubted my eyes.

There were the ladies, standing at the water fountain, flirting with random people who were just passing by…

Including me, of course.

Did Shantotto have something to do with this? Why was she giggling the whole time I spent with the girls…?

I can’t help but think that something terrible is about to happen…

A Beauty Reborn…?

He has come to town.

Today, on the day of love and affection!

The man wielding the magical comb of beauty in his left!

The man wielding the Scissors of truth in his right!

The magnificent lover of all women and men who wish to be reborn!

Jadelaine, the Magnificent.

He has many names but only one task!

His aura is unique, you will never find one like him.

He moves like an artist, he speaks like a noble, he acts like prince charming, he seems like a magician.

And he seems to scare innocent women on the streets!!

Needless to say, his unique performances include spinning in the air with the utmost grace and elegance.

A bit of zip, zap and this and that and styling…

And an until now scared Lady was reborn.

He might be called many things but he is the man who makes your wish come true.

The Lady directly fell in love and deepest admiration of Jadeline, who asked her, not to thank him.

He needed no thanks.

The happiness of his subjects was everything he needed!

He also approached my beautiful self. As he saw my current beauty, grace and wonderful hairstyle, he realized, I did not need an urgent makeover as the lady earlier.

But should I ever want a change, he offered his services to me with a one-time-free-voucher!

Jadeline promised, if I ever wish, he will make me feel like a beauty reborn!

I shall come back to that one day but for now, I like my hairstyle as it is. If I change my appearance too much, the countless fans of my diary would not recognize me anymore!

This would be a terrible development!

It didn’t take too long for me to realize, Ryko indeed looked different at the Christmas party but I just couldn’t find out what had changed. Now I knew. He must have met Jadeline way before me and became a true beauty reborn!!

Somehow, I just don’t seem to remember how exactly Ryko looked before his beautiful rebirth…

It must have been somewhat like this:

 

Bulletproof

Every army needs their armor.

Why should I not become an Armorer and make individual armors for my minions.

Not that I’m planning to attack anything or anyone, but it’s just to be cool, you know………

As I am bad with Roeagalala names, I will call this guy Bob. He is one of the experienced Armorers of the guild. But he is also my rival! We worked hard on our armors and tools to be better than the other.

One day, we were called to a secret meeting with our Limsa Boss…

Two guys were outfitted with our selfmade armor and it was to test which armor was better for the troops of Limsa Lominsa!

I felt so proud, that my work was so popular, even the military was interested in it!

So the attacks began. Fists, Axes, Swords… All kinds of weapons hammered onto the two poor guys…

The Armorer Apprentices whe were watching this were incredibly terrified!

As the dust settled, both armors had barely any scratches… Was it a draw?

No draws in a match of two.

Limsa Boss Blabliblubb drew her pistol and shot twice.

I was like: O_O;

And the others were like: O____O;;;;

When Bob’s guy fell to his knees I knew that my work was not only good but great instead.

It was bulletproof, axeproof, fistproof and damageproof.

Bob admitted his defeat.

He couldn’t be wronger! There was no winner and loser. Armorer is about protecting people. If you are bad, they die. Armorers may not create bad gear. They are born to provide soldiers with the best protection in the world!

Bob realized, I was right and thanked me for what I had taught him.

The guildleader was also pleased. Somehow, most guilds have money issues and are looking for more people to buy their stuff. Good that I could help! They will prolly get a huuuuge order for army armors soon.

And so, I crafted my own Armorer outfit!

/showoff

And then, I made the same awesome armor for Mag, as he became a master armorer, too!

Riiko’s Minion Army: The Minion Boss

She is but a giant version of the original.

Shantotto.

The Black Mage Lady who came through a portal and magical experiments to Eorzea.

She spreads despair and fear.

She is fair and rhymes.

And she destroys.

Shantotto arrived with her giant Minion and after talking to me, she decided, to let her minion join my minion army!!

The trust and potential Shantotto found in me honored me deeply.

But if anything happened to her beloved minion, Shantotto will come back and this will be the last thing I have ever experienced: being blown up by black magic from another world.

Now I’m stuck with her minion. Experiencing attacks of pure fear on a frequent basis whenever her minion strays away too far.

And not only did I receive a minion… There are MORE!!

Minion Shantotto seems to befriend Black mages easily. I mean, it’s great she finds allies but I am a little worried this might go out of hand…

Anywhere I go with her, Chaos and Destruction spreads. Fights break out randomly and unexpectedly.

And all she does is stand there, laughing, while looking utterly adorable.

Was it really the right choice to accept Shantotto’s minion into my team?

Well, it’s not like she actually gave me the choice to reject…

Riiko’s Minion Army: Introducing the Officers

By accident, a confidential picture was leaked in last Friday’s post. I humbly appologize for the fear it might have spread and will make sure this never happens again.

From now on, I will double-check my diary posts and train my minions in utter secrecy and silence.

Speaking of which, I have obtained noble and most respectable allies.

This noble fellow is rich. I no longer need to worry about financing my many minions. Noblocobo is not only noble, he also only eats the most noble worms. Whatever does not wear a crown is below his honor to be eaten. This gives me a lot of trouble…

With all this money, I am now able to provide the best food, housing and clothing situation for my minions.

It also helped me to obtain true officers of my minion army.

With the assistance of Silly One, I was able to obtain the true Chosen One’s seed!

While the Turned Ones were not happy about this development, the Sylphs were celebrating and worshipping the seed while witnessing the birth of their Chosen One.

The Chosen One is a Special One surrounded by a bright light. It is said, Chosen One will be the saviour of the Sylphs!

They were so happy that I found Chosen One, they gave me their youngest sprouse, Sylphixia. Also, they were sure I would take good care of her – I saved the Sylphs so many times from the Turned Ones AND I was rich. Well, Noblocobo was rich. And he only spends his money on minion fellows who are loyal to him… So troublesome.

The Sylph department of my minions will be lead by Sylphixia. She is a young and shy baby Sylph and still has to grow into her role… But the other Sylphs still have to hatch from their seeds so there is enough time for Sylphixia to grow and learn.

Sylphixia will learn from my most unique minions.

I am part of the Brotherhood now. This allowed me to adopt a tiny Amal’jaa Overlord.

His only handycap is his size. While all other Amal’jaas grow to a height of about 2 meters and more, this one stopped at about 20 cm. Even I nearly stumbled over him one day. He nearly killed me for it.

The only thing that saved me was to offer him a place as officer of my minions. He agreed.

Ever since then, we are best buddies.