Job Updates: One Punch Monk, Scary Summoner, Cool Warrior, Glancing Dragoon, Flashy Paladin

It was my goal for Stormblood to have all Jobs leveled.

Spoiler: I made it.

And here is how.

At first, I decided to level Monk. Together with Mag and Leonie, we had extreme training sessions for me!

My One Punch Monk powers increased drastically!

It wasn’t enough so I asked for training sessions with more expert Monk friends. :D

After the training, I was so done, I fell asleep in Ley’s garden.

Funny enough, Ley sleeps under the wooden stuff that’s supposed to be used as sitting parts… #catlife

My skills increased so much that I sometimes snuck into Palace of the Dead instanced, hid in chests and killed all nearby enemies with one punch when the adventurers would open the chest!

But then, some evil Monk appeared who didn’t like that I was becoming so skilled. With his glowy aura he tried to intimidate me. lol.

He then sent a ball of energy to kill me and my official Monk teacher and his catgirls.

With one punch I pushed the ball of energy back at the attacker and totally defeated him.


Don’t even need my One Punch outfit to be a one punch hero.

That’s how pro I have become.

It was then time to teach others the unique One Punch Monk skills. Gourry is one of my most skilled students!!

After exceling in the art of Monk, I decided to train more darker arts.

Full of motivation, I stole a Limit Break 3 to release the powers of Bahamut from within me.

One could say, it’s going really well towards the Lalamut Calamity. I think Xeehart will be proud when she sees my progress ö.ö

Back to the dark arts of Ninjarrrrr!

My Ninja skills are so pro, my dagger seems to float in the air most of the time because I move so fast!!

I also have amazing looking Ninja buddies, Mag and Chelci, besides who I seem totally invisible to anyone who looks at us.

It’s safe to say my skills are of an expert level.

Please also note the distinctively shaped weapon of Chel…

Right, once my Warrior reached expert level, I decided to make it look like a beautiful demon.

Do you think I succeeded? :D

It’s okay if you disagree. My axe’s hobby is to chop off things.

You do agree that I look amazing as WAR, right? :D

Anyway, the path of the Dragoon was long and terrifying.

At least I got this wonderful picture:

Dragoon without a Dragon pet Powaaaaaaarzzz!

I had to manage the issues of some Dragoon Elezen Lady which felt a lot like babysitting Sylphie during my Conjurer quests…

In the end, it was all about some awfully ugly lance. =_=

I am so done with Dragoons.

My Paladin training was even worse.

When demonstrating new skills, I noticed that this one here doesn’t even protect Chelci in case of danger! Her head would still be chopped off by evil enemies ;_;

Even my shield wouldn’t do any good, it didn’t even cover my whole Lalafell body!

At least I managed to make some sword glow that was handed to me by some Paladins who thought they were important.

They were all super impressed blabla.

In the end, I channeled my Paladin power and never had to see those people again.

That was until I realized, that with Stormblood, if I wanted to stay up to date on things, I would have to see all of these awful people once more to learn more skills……. Let’s hope the Doma or other Stormblood people have more skilled teachers than those…


Lalafell Squadron for World Domination plans

Last year I started building my Lalafell Squadron with the Flames Grand Company. Thanks to my skills, they finally offered me to become a squadron commander, a powerful posititon within the Company ò.óV

Of course I said yes and was presented with these three recruits. The dude in the Flames Uniform is not part of it, only these lowlevel newbies.

Fair enough, I’ll train them and shape them into the finest fighters.

The Flames presented me with a training room. Tiny but fine.

Thankfully, one of my Squad members was already a Lalafell. He seemed alright. Gues he’s one to keep!

At first, I recruited everything I could get. I let them train hard and made sure that any Lalafell in my team would profit from the skills of the others and learn from them.

Slowly, I started replaying any non-Lalafell by a Lalafell! :D

The cutest and most adorable recruits slowly joined me!

Together, we did intense training lessons.

I taught them the arts of Magic too!

They profited a lot from private lessons and hard trials that I had prepared for them.

We would also rest together and have lunch.

And so, my Lalafell Squad grew and grew.

They trained hard with the highest motivation I had ever seen before.

It was all thanks to my fabulous recruiting skills. I had ensured that in all towns there were posters advertising my Lalafell only Squad. It also mentioned the possibly upcoming Lalamud Calamity and that they needed to be prepared for this.

And so the last recruits arrived and I could finally toss out the Roe I had kept since the start!

And finally, the beautiful Lalafell Lady who tried to look as adorable as me had joined.

My team was finally complete!

For security reasons, I cannot post a picture of my squad and their role distributions. In case of espionage, it would be really insecure to leak such critical information.

It’s not because I can’t find the screenshots in my thousands of screens since January 2017… <.<;

Zeehart, giant Lalamud and Liberator of all Lalafell

It was around the Starlight Celebration last year when I suddenly met someone at the Orphenage:


She is a giant Lalafell who is really tall and beautiful! ö.ö

And she had invaded my Excalibur server to expand her area of influence.

Despite wearing level 15 gear, it felt like she was even stronger than any level 60 adventurer!

When checking her, her level said “15” but in fact it was bugged as it’s not programmed to show 3 digit numbers. Her true level was 150 15.000 at the time. Of course she didn’t want to scare anyone so she equipped lowlevel gear.

Please note: My humble apologies to Zeehart for mentioning the wrong level. I assumed it was 150 because I couldn’t see the digits… I was off my a LOT! Still have a long way to go in the followship of Lalamud!

It was until later when I witnessed her true power. The power of Lalamud!

Kneel before the Lalafell to be spared by her destruction in the next Calamity! Never be evil to Lalas again and you might survive the dread we will bring upon you eventually ò.ó

Also check our Zeehart’s Twitter account ( for more details about her world domination plans.

New Year 2016/2017: Year of the Cock

2017 is the year of the Cock! Rejoice celebrating all Chocobos, cocks and birds alike through this year!

Please note that while some call it “Year of the Rooster”, the townsfolk in Eorzea specifically calls it “Year of the Cock”. As I would like to write authentic posts, I am sticking to this name.

The quest was like every year, really. We solved the problems of the troubled guy who really likes awful hats.

For this year’s cock kabuto (cock helm) I had to once more steal mochi from a location that was heavily guarded by an evil monster with a massive hammer.

It wasn’t hard. I had practice thanks to many years of experience and lead the cock event to a big success.

In the end, even the Paissa joined the celebration of the Chocobo who would mainly be worshiped this year.

And this, my dear friends, was the very short seasonal cock event.

I am refraining from making inappropriate puns at this stage. Thank you for your understanding.

Starlight Celebration 2016: Christmas Stories for the Children

For the Starlight Celebration Event 2016, a famous group of ladies has returned to the cities: The songbirds!

They are promoting the festivities and entertain the townsfolk.

They also make everyone aware of the orphanage that has newly opened in Ul’dah which needs every support they can get for the children.

I checked it out and saw loads of people playing Santa when I arrived!

What we had to do was hand out presents and tell stories of our adventures. The children loved stories!

Funny enough, they also had a Lala child.

Yeah, I thinkt hey got an imposter there… The supposedly Lalafell child was not only taller than me, she also looked very grown up to me!

Nobody else seemed to bother, and due to the amount of cake that was awaiting me, I didn’t hand in a complaint.

Every evening, I visited to tell the children a different story.

They were eager to hear more and more stories! Even when it got a little late, they wanted to hear more.

In the end, I slept over at the orphenage.

The beds are quite high so I had to crawl into them.

Sleep time!

Every night I spent there I had a different dream. Mostly, I dreamed of an awesome person, but sometimes, it was more of a nightmare.

My first dream was about Aymeric. <3<3

A Paissa visited me…?!

Thancred came by too.

And then little Tatar came by to sing a self made song just for me! ö.ö

Yda and Papalymo had of course some kind of discussion about something.

Y’shtola came for a small fashion show.

Even my bestie Nanamo came for a visit!

And then little Alphinaud in some blue outfit…? o.o;

All in all it were really weird dreams… I suppose they didn’t really come by… or did they? o.o;

Anyway, I discovered a lot of cool decorations around the Orphenage.

In the kitchen, they had a secret snoman celebration with a mini-cake! o.o

They also had lots of little snowmen climbing around some things hanging from the walls o.o; Had they come to steal a cake?!

Happily, some of the snowmen greeted adventurers who used Aetherites!

Did you also discover some hidden snowmen or other seasonal decoration? ö.ö

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