Healer Joke: Your creativity is needed!

Cerv and me are the healers in our static. I took this fine picture, but I need your help.

What are we laughing about?

Can you make it as awful and funny as possible?

My first thoughts:

“…and then they died as they ignored mechanics!”

“The DPS pulled and wondered why he died.”

“They called us noobs. We called them dead.”

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Stormblood Job quest summary

The new Astventures contained stargazing. A lot of it. I never saw any of their star signs in the stars. A Geomancer showed up and he clearly got here through Atomos from Vana’diel. Turns out, he lives in Kugane and has to protect the town from evil beasts! O.O;;

The Bard quests were as boring as can be. We basically played music and traveled the world while nobody was listening to us.

As a Machinist, I mettled with some Ishgardian Brune locals.

As the Monk quests started, I felt there were great things coming.

Unfortunately, there weren’t. I had to play babyistter for my teacher and didn’t even remember the pupils’ names… So I decided to quit.

As Paladin, I was for once not asked to kill someone. Instead, I was forced to sign up in the Gladiator battles.

Funny enough, I was allowed to stay Paladin and didn’t have my job stone off at all. Nanamo even supported this and let me have an easy win.

After that tournament, I decided to stop these boring battles and fester my summoning skills.

As you can see, it’s working really well. While I take pictures, the group fights the fight for me. My DoTs are ticking, so why would there be any complaint ever?

Bahamut is majestic as f*** and he’s mine now.

But brace yourself for this ultimate attack of mine.

I evolved into Bahamut myself…

…while having Bahamut summoned!

I’ll call this the ultimate Bahamut Flare! It pierces not only enemies but also allies. I’m really sorry, but it’s so powerful that it’s not possible to control.

Due to my accidental murder of Niko, I changed my image and became an Summonemo.

 

Tonberry Love Story

Let me tell you the sweetest Love story there is.

Surito, my Scholar teacher who is a Tonberry, had found information that it might be possible to stop the Tonberry curse from spreading. Curing it still seemed impossible.

It was quite important, otherwise, unsuspecting Lalafell might be transformed and hunted down! O.O;

Anyway, he asked us to look for a specific Tonberry that had wandered off on their own.

Who knew which company was now hunting tonberries…

So we pretended to be looking to hunt it andsearched for clues.

A tonberry was indeed sighted in the Shroud, so we looked there.

Quickly, we found Miqo’te hunters who had captured a tonberry!

Quickly, I scared the hunters away – they all knew the adventurer who repeatedly raged in their outposts – and healed the tonby up.

Hello, I’m Riiko.

Suddenly, Alka was all gentleman-like.

I was like… what?!

A lady? How…?

Alka thought I was joking.

Obviously she was a lady.

I started to understand how any non-Lala felt when looking at a Lalafell.

Setoto, the rescued Tonberry thanked us for our help.

Her father was a researcher of the tonberry plague and together, we ventured through the Wanderer’s palace in search of clues.

We found a treasure chest that contained his belongings.

…and a soul crystal.

Whensuddenly, Setoto started glwoing and a purple ball formed.

Then, the ball rushed off and Setoto fell to the ground unconscious.

We quickly returned her to Camp Tranquil where the unfriendly Elf was awaiting us.

Alka and me followed the pruple ball.

Finally, we defeated the statue that it had occupied.

It dropped a red stone.

A pretty, red stone.

Back at the camp, Alka again used his charme to compliment Setoto.

This cheered her up successfully.

And now, the love story:

He was still a little too… unperceptive of some thing, but I’m sure they’ll do just fine.

All is well that ends well. I’m looking forward to more adventures with Alka and Setoto some time in the future.

Let’s summon Bahamut, the Primal who nearly destroyed the world!

As my Summoner training continued, I found a tome with my teacher.

The tome exploded in some weird dust.

Usually, this meant a chemical attack and my dear friend would be dead by now.

Luckily, we are in Eorzea and no such thing happens here.

The tome was actually alive.

It called itself Principia and seemed to be a tome about summonings.

It promised to be good and to teach me secrets of summoning.

I don’t know where they came fro, but suddenly there were some Summoner apprentices.

Excuse me? Wasn’t this just supposed to be training for myself?!

I had to fight them to show Princi my power.

Fair enough.

Needless to say, I crushed them.

Princi was very pleased.

Some time later, it took us to a Frontlines area where Sephirot Egi was raging. Oh neat, a new potential primal I could summon! ö.ö

Unfortunately, we only met the master of the tome.

He was like “lol ur all noobs I will destroy you” kinda.

Turns out, he was just a clone of the real master which was possible with Allagan technology.

I trained hard to become stronger so that I could kill this and any further potential clones.

What I needed was more power. More primals.

MORE DESTRUCTION!

Yes, you are seeing this correctly, I learned to summon Bahamut! How?

Well, we did some Allagan technology stuff…

We faced the evil master of the tome.

There were actually 3 of them and they had an ADS with them.

Unlucky for them was that they didn’t seem to know that ADS was killed within seconds these days cause it was comparably weak :D

And so, I became a Summoner that can summon Bahamut.

My next goal is to take it to the next level and become Bahamut while Bahamut is summoned.

BAHAMUTOVERKILLOMG!

Primal Themed Summoner Glamour

Thanks to the Egi Glamours, Summoners can now feel like they have actually obtained 3 new Egis can summon Carbuncle although they are no Arcanist anymore.

First up, the Blue outfit. It’s a winterly Cat princess outfit.

Next, the yellow Chocobo Mage outfit!

And finally, the red Songbird bunny outfit!

But I didn’t stop there.

For Garuda, I made a small Leprechaun outfit. But many mistook it for a Link Glamour…

I wrote down their names for too vivid imagination…

Finally, the purple Ramuh outfit!

Oh wait, we don’t have Ramuh, forget I ever created this purple beauty…

As condolences to my fellow SMN friends who mourn about the lack of epic Primals to summon, why not try out Astrologian instead?

I mean, it looks great:

This was my contest application screenshot for the Moogle Post. The contest’s subject was “Hot Pants”, so there you go. ò.óV

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